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Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Don't Assume

Just because I'm quiet, don't assume I'm not listening.
Just because you don't see me, don't assume I don't cry.
Just because I smile, don't assume I'm always happy.
You don't know what I'm hiding. You don't know the pillows my shower and pillow have collected. You don't know the problems swimming around inside my head. Depression can hide behind many masks. But that doesn't mean it's not there. You have to read behind the lines. And just because you may be upset doesn't mean you're the only one who is. Just because you cried all morning doesn't mean I haven't been crying inside for years. I've just had more practice learning to bottle it up. To hide it. To put it where no one sees it and to brave through it. Because I can't let anyone see my weakness. I can't let anyone see it hurts me. Because then I'm weak. Then I'm a drama queen. Then it gets worse. And I'm pushed and pushed and pushed until I can't take it anymore. I explode. And then, like a star, I die. I disappear. And everyone pretends to have loved me and cared for me and protected me. No one ever notices how broken you are until you've exploded and died out.

"Funny, when you're dead, how people start listening." -'If I Die Young' by The Band Perry
                                                                  ~The Blogging Fangirl

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