New Year And Help Needed

Happy New Year to all of you (even though it's not 2015 in some places just yet)! Now, I hate to do this on New Year's Eve, but someone needs help. If any of you know someone who can help, or you yourself can help, I'm sure this person would appreciate it. I would. 
Hey! Mel here. I hate to do this on New Year’s Eve, but my mom just went through my sister and my closet and ripped everything out and basically ruined it. I have the rest of my stuff packed but I fear for my safety. The reason? My sister voiced her complaints about my mom leaving us on New Year’s Eve to go to a party. 
Things escalated, and my mom KNOWS I am trans and refuses to call me by my name/pronouns. She’s blatantly transphobic, not to mention ableist. She says that since she named me, I’m attacking her. 
She is unpredictable and dangerous and I don’t want to stay with someone who misgenders me and makes me feel worthless on a daily basis any longer. She is also the main cause of my hospitalizations.
I’m asking for temporary residence from someone in Connecticut or around the Connecticut area. My number is available for people who come to me off ank . If you can’t help me, please signal boost this.
Thank you.

Any help is appreciated. 

                                                           ~The Blogging Fangirl

Help For Others

After all of the anon hate that people are getting and the news of various new plans the anons are making, I think it's nice to know that there are some people and places you can go to if you want support and/or you want to talk. Two such places are messaging little-miss-superwholockian on Tumblr, and messaging Safe House on Facebook or posting on the page. The tumblr account is mine. I run it. Either place is free for you to message. Any and all hate is removed and I will not respond with hate. You can talk to me without fear of judgement. I'm here to listen and help where I can.
                                                            ~The Blogging Fangirl

Audition Prep

Today's been all right. Just cold, really. My feet are freezing. I spent some time looking into monologues for the play my school will be doing. It sounds like it'll be really fun to put on. It's a minimal set with lots of pantomiming activities, so we won't need a lot of props. Even though it ends with many of the characters end up dead in the end, it seems like a fun play to do and I look forward to being a part of it. I just hate having to give monologues. And the auditions make me so nervous! I know I can do it though. And I know you'll be supporting me. Thanks! 
                                                                         ~The Blogging Fangirl

Going To Come Out To My Dad (+ A Note About Depression)

I haven't come out to my dad yet. I was planning on doing it Christmas Day, but I didn't. I'm going to do it before the New Year though. He needs to know. My mom knows and nothing's changed between us. I need to tell him though.
                                                   ~
There's something else I need to say though. It may be a trigger for some people, so I'll warn you now. I will be talking about DEPRESSION. I've been really depressed lately, especially having read about all of those people killing themselves over anon hate on Tumblr. I stand behind all the victims and support them and I don't want them to die. I've had these thoughts myself, so I know how it feels. I know what it's like to battle these thoughts constantly and want to kill yourself rather than face the day. I still deal with this. So please, if you see anyone who you think is dealing with suicidal thoughts or self-harm, show your support. It may not really help much, but at least they know they're loved. It helps some people more than others, so show your support and love no matter what.
                                                                   ~The Blogging Fangirl

Two Rants (LEAVE MY FAMILY ALONE)

My grandma is complaining about how I take care of the neighbor's dogs. It's my job. Why is she complaining about how I do it? It was about walking them and putting their pillows in the garage. She thinks I need to walk them at night before I put them in because they eat and drink when I put them inside. But that doesn't make any sense. If I walk them, then feed them inside and put them in the kitchen, it would be the same as it would be if I didn't walk them. They'd just get a bit less exercise. I walk them in the mornings though. She needs to let me do my job the way I think they should be done.
                                                ~
Now that I've finished my rant, there's something else I need to say. It's about the SPN fandom. For anyone sending hate to depressed and suicidal people on Tumblr, stop it. I'm a part of the fandom and I stand behind every single one of the people that you're hating. You're killing them. You're committing murder. Now stop it. We are together and you don't want to mess with us. LEAVE MY FAMILY ALONE!
                                                                       ~The Blogging Fangirl

Kindle Fire Problem

Apparently my Kindle Fire has decided to stop charging. I have no idea why. It's just getting very, very picky about where it will charge. I got it to charge, but it stopped when I stood from the bed. Now it's completely dead and I want to use it again tonight. I just hope I can get it to charge again. I need it for a lot of things. I hope it charges again soon. I tried the reset (pushing the power button for 20 seconds) and it didn't work this time. Now every time I try to charge it, the screen says 'Battery too low to power on', then turns off. No red light to show it's charging. I need that red light so I know it's charging and I can leave it alone. I may be limited to laptops soon, which isn't good. The laptops I use are my mom's and my grandma's. The Kindle Fire is mine. I can use it until the battery dies and no one will stop me. I can't do that with the laptops. Someone help!

                                                                    ~The Blogging Fangirl

Christmas

Sorry, but this is going to be a short post. I hope you've all had a very merry Christmas this year and got plenty of presents. I've had a good Christmas with my family and am planning on getting my hedgehog very soon. I'll let you all know when I do. So Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and have a wonderful life!
                                                              ~The Blogging Fangirl

A Christmas Rant

Here's a nice little surprise for all of us: Apparently, I was wrong! I am able to update tonight. Yay!!!!! So here's my update for today:

My family doesn't seem to realize that, if I ask for money for something, then decide not to do that, I have another purpose for the money. I'm not just collecting money. There's always something I'm saving up for. So don't try to pressure me into doing something or going somewhere or anything. Just get over it. I'll tell if, if I want, when I get what I'm saving the money for. And please don't point out someone else who asked for money and decided to use it for something else. Yes, I understand they have a plan for the money. So do I. I just didn't make it public. For all you know, I'm donating the money I got for Christmas to someone who needs it more than I do. But you'd have no idea because you're too busy talking about this other person who's using the money for themselves and told you about it. Just because you don't know what I'm doing with the money doesn't mean I have no plans. Get over yourselves, people. 

Now that I've completed tonight's rant, I hope you all have a very merry Christmas tomorrow. Good night/day/whatever it is where you are!
                                                                   ~The Blogging Fangirl

Christmas Wishes

I'm not sure if I'll be able to update tomorrow, so I have a message in case I don't. Merry Christmas Eve! I hope you all have an incredible Christmas, no matter where you are. And remember, even if you don't have any family or friends coming around this holiday season, I'm thinking of and praying for each and every one of you. There's always someone thinking of you. And I hope you all think of other people as well. Go help someone out who really needs it. Donate money, time, whatever you have. Even if you just stand outside and sing Christmas carols to cheer people up. Do something nice. It'll feel wonderful for you too.
                                                                  ~The Blogging Fangirl

The Dentist And My Step Mother

I had to go to the dentist today. I found out that I apparently have two cavities. They thought the white spots on my teeth may go away and that they were just weak spots in my enamel. Now they're cavities for sure, and there's a chance I'll get another. No one thought to tell me this before I had cavities. No one tells me anything. Maybe if I'd been told before that I had cavities forming, I could've done something. But as it is now, I just have to have them filled. To top it all off, my dentist eyes me like I was some sort of moron and my step mother was acting like a know-it-all because apparently she's 'been saying that for months'. She's a liar. That never came out of her mouth. She buys zero calorie cola for us on the weekends. Yeah, it's better for health, but she still buys soda. And she's never said anything about anyone drinking too much and needing to cut back. She just wants to act like she knows everything. Anyone else have someone in their life that acts like that? It gets annoying quickly, right? 
                                                                       ~The Blogging Fangirl

Coming Out To My Mom

I feel amazing. I really have been smiling for the longest time. I came out to my mom last night and I've felt incredible ever since. I texted her at exactly midnight last night and she replied this morning. She told me she'd love me no matter what. And she supports my relationship with my girlfriend. It's someone she's known since we were younger, so she's not worried about much. Best of all, she didn't make a huge deal out of it when I got home from my dad's tonight. We talked like we always have and were just happy. And I honestly feel like a ton of weight has just been lifted from my chest now. All I've got to do now is tell my dad. Unfortunately, I don't think he'l be the same way. He'll want to talk and make sure I know exactly what being pansexual and dating a girl means. As if I don't already. I'm not a moron. I know what I am and what I'm doing. He'll make a big deal out of it next time he sees me too and want to talk about everything all over again. I don't want that. I want to tell them and be done. Maybe mention it time and again and not be afraid to show my girlfriend affection in front of them. Hopefully that'll be a reality soon.
                                                                  ~The Blogging Fangirl

Eventful Break

I'm finally finished with midterms!!!!!!!!!!! I took my religion and math midterms today and now I'm on Christmas Break. I don't have to go back for another two weeks! I might be getting a hedgehog for Christmas too, which makes me super excited! The only parts of this that I don't like are that I'm coming out to my parents over this break and that I have to spend this weekend and Christmas eve with my dad. I'm more worried about the fact that they will want to 'talk about it'. They act like I don't know what pansexual really means. I know what it is and that's what I am. They just have to get used to it. I don't think my mom at least will have a problem with it. My dad is more likely to be more serious about it, but I think they'll both be okay with it. I'm just nervous.
                                                                  ~The Blogging Fangirl

Hedgehog Or Trip?

I'm giving up my British Isles trip to get a hedgehog. Both are expensive. But if I had to choose between a hedgehog and a trip for Christmas, I'd like the hedgehog this year. I can take the trip later in life. Besides, I'd need to get a lot more for the trip than I would for the hedgehog. And I can spoil my hedgehog and play with it. I want to get a boy and name him John, but we'll see. I have a cage set up already, ready for him. I just need a heat lamp and the hedgehog.
                                                                    ~The Blogging Fangirl

Early Dismissal And Pet Hedgehog

I got out of school early today because of midterms. I was home by 11:30 this morning. I had to take my Chemistry and Contemporary Literature midterms. But I've had a good day otherwise. 
I'm considering getting a hedgehog as a pet. I know where I can get everything I would need. I just need to know where to get a hedgehog as a pet. I don't know where to get one and I'm not having any luck with my search. I'll keep trying though.
                                                                    ~The Blogging Fangirl

Coming Out

I've gotten my first midterm out of the way. Now I just have to take care of the other six out of the way and then I'll be on Christmas break. I'm so excited for that, but I'm also kind of nervous. See, I've decided that I'm going to stop hiding so much this Christmas. I'm pansexual, meaning I like everyone: same sex, opposite sex, trans, bi, whatever. I haven't told anyone though, but I plan to come out this Christmas. I doubt it will be a big deal though. The bigger part is that I'm in a same sex relationship with someone I've known since we were kids. So for those of you who guessed that my significant other is a girl, you're right. She's my girlfriend and has been for 7 1/2 months. We'll see how my family takes it.
                                                                    ~The Blogging Fangirl

So Done With Midterms

I'm so done. And I haven't even taken my first midterm yet. I hate this. But at least I've finished most of what I need to, so I can focus on studying. I can just look through my study guides and try to figure everything out so I'm ready. I have my first exam tomorrow. The rest of the week, I get out early and get to come home. I just want to sleep. I want to lie down and sleep and enjoy my Christmas break. But I can't do that until I've finished my exams. Why can't this workload end??!!!!!!!!!
                                                               ~The Blogging Fangirl    

POS (Project Overload Stress)

I hate having so many projects due on the same day, or around the same day. I thought I only had one due tomorrow, but it turns out that two of them are due tomorrow. And there's one due the day after that. Not to mention the essay I have to write for one of my midterms that's due the day I come in to take it. It just happens to be my first midterm, which is on Tuesday. It's the same day that another one of my projects is due. Thankfully, the other project due that day is the one I can turn in by midnight. It just has to be turned in by midnight on Friday. I might have to wait that long to get it turned in. I just hope the stress doesn't kill me.
                                                                       ~The Blogging Fangirl

My Day

I've actually had a pretty good day. Aside from the fact that I stepped in cat poop, had to wash it off the bottom of my boot, and haven't even started the project I have to turn in on Monday, it's been good. I'll get the project done tomorrow and do anything else I need to as well. But honestly, at this point, I don't care anymore. I have midterms coming up and then Christmas Break. I just want to quit and be done. But I can't. I just have to pull through. We'll see how this goes.
                                                                     ~The Blogging Fangirl

Decorating

I've been decorating Christmas trees today. I started with helping my mom and sister decorate our tree. I just finished decorating my grandma's tree. It's now lit up, decorated, shining with tinsel and varies baubles. I still have more decorations, but I doubt I'll use them all. I've got fake candles set up and lit, so I barely need the lamps. The cat keeps trying to eat the tinsel, as well as attack the electrical cords. But I've managed to keep her out of trouble. It'll be Christmas before we know it and then we won't know what to do without ourselves. I'll just be glad when my exams are over and I'm on Christmas break. Until then, wish me luck!
                                                                      ~The Blogging Fangirl

Stressed

My update is early tonight, I know. But I have to go to my Christmas concert and I don't think I'm going to be able to update any other time. So I'm doing it now. 

I'm working on so many projects right now. I'm slammed. And most of them are due around the same time, so it really stresses me out. On top of that, my significant other and I argued and didn't speak for most of the day. More stress. We've settled it all though, so we're okay again. I'm still really stressed though. I'll be fine once midterms are over.
                                                                ~The Blogging Fangirl

Troubled Waters

My significant other was complaining again today. He/she was saying that he/she doesn't feel appreciated. And it's all because I spend time with other people. Have any of you heard of/done 'best friend flirting'? Basically it's when you're so close with your best friend that you talk and act in ways that would make others swear you're flirting or you're a couple. It may involve actually flirting, but you both know that the other isn't into you like that. I do it all the time and it makes him/her jealous and feel unappreciated. I'm starting to get tired of it and wonder if it's really worth it. And it's only adding to my stress, which I believe is partially causing my urges to self-harm. I did it again today and it only seems to be getting worse.
                                                               ~The Blogging Fangirl

Good Day Gone Bad

I was having a pretty good day today. I didn't have a headache, I wasn't too tired, and I was just doing well in general. It went down hill though. My significant other constantly feels neglected, no matter what I do. He/she never seems to be able to cope on his/her own, especially whenever I'm around. I love him/her, and I know he/she feels the same. But I can't always give him/her my undivided attention. It's just not possible. Not to mention that, when we discussed me not answering his/her good night text because I was working on a project until late last night, he/she threatened a panic attack and starting cutting again. I was teasing about him/her wanting me to fail, and he/she may have been teasing as well. But I personally don't believe that's ever something you should joke about and it was extremely inappropriate for him/her to say. That's just my opinion and I hope he/she never does it again.
                                                                 ~The Blogging Fangirl

Self Harm

Today got even worse. It may have been partially due to a lack of sleep, but I didn't want to deal with anyone. It felt like a die where I was either going to die or kill someone else. Figuratively speaking, of course. I'd never actually kill someone. But I was irritable and angry most of the day, as well as exhausted. I started self harming. I have scratches on my arm, shoulder, and stomach now. They're more like little red lines. I never broke the skin, so they won't leave marks long enough for anyone to notice. You know, a lot of people assume that self-harm means cutting. But that's only one kind. Pinching, scratching, hair pulling, etc, are types of self harm. No one thinks about those though. 
                                                                  ~The Blogging Fangirl

Bad Mood Day

So, I'm just in a bad mood today. I've zoned out a lot and I just don't want to deal with anyone. I'm extremely irritable and it's like I'm constantly on my period. I don't know if I'm close to starting my period or what, but I've been getting little cramps, I'm nauseous, and my head hurts. This has been happening a lot recently. I think it may be part of a Manic Mood, which has to do with Bipolar Disorder. I haven't been tested, but I still think I may be bipolar. I'll try to let you all know when I find out.
                                                                   ~The Blogging Fangirl

Depression And Bipolar Disorder I

I got to see my significant other today. Have any of you ever dealt with someone with depression? Maybe someone who's bipolar? Because my significant other may have depression and I think I'm bipolar. But I'm not sure about either. It's more of a self-diagnosis. He/she has no self-esteem and doesn't believe any compliment he/she gets. I have periods where I'm extremely child-like and happy, maybe overexcited. Then I get into periods where I'm extremely depressed. I think of death and suicide, I lose all emotion, and I just want to die then and there. I don't think I have a future. I think I have Bipolar Disorder I, meaning I experience Manic Periods (extreme highs, happy moods, iggly, fun) and Depressed Periods (extreme lows, suicidal, etc). Any opinions?
                                                     ~The Blogging Fangirl

Powerpoint And Midterms

Not much happened today. Sorry, but my life's not very eventful. I thought I was going to have to present my powerpoint in World Civ today, but I didn't. I'll be one of the first to present on Monday though. I have midterms coming up too, so that'll be fun. Not. But at least if I get an A, I'm exempt from the exam. I was in second honors first quarter, so I only had two B's. I just hope I don't have to take most of them. Hopefully I'll do well in most of my classes at least.
                                                                     ~The Blogging Fangirl

Short Story

I finished my short story last night around midnight, which proved for a rather dark ending sentence. Everything was wrapped up nicely though, and I've turned it in. I got a little lazy in the end and didn't put in as much detail for some of it towards the end, but I hope it's okay. We'll be reviewing our stories with peers tomorrow, so I'm interested to see what people have to say about it. It's a darker story than what I usually write, and more gruesome, so I'm sure it'll shock some people. We'll see what happens tomorrow.
                                                           ~The Blogging Fangirl

Feminism

I got to hear a really interesting speaker today. She told my class about Josephine, Napoleon's wife. She was really interesting and she had a larger role than a lot of people realize. But that's the thing about history. Hardly any women are ever mentioned. In my opinion, the Bible and history books are books written by men, about men. They hardly ever mention what the women did for history. We hardly get any recognition. But it's getting better, so we'll see where we go from there. It's really interesting to learn about the people who work behind the scenes with major historical events. Maybe I'll be one someday.
                                                                    ~The Blogging Fangirl

Short Story And Reading

I've been working on my short story a lot recently and I think it's really starting to come together. I haven't even gotten half way through yet! But I'm loving it. Today was a good day because I got a great grade on my English project and I hardly have any homework! Just reading. It's A Tale of Two Cities though. And My Sister's Keeper. The second one is actually really good, it's just a lot of reading. But the Charles Dickens book is hard to read. It's complicated and confusing. I'm sure I'll figure it out though.
                                                                    ~The Blogging Fangirl

Projects Due And In Progress

Today was fairly uneventful. The rain caused a few teachers and students to be late getting to school though. I got a free period at the beginning of the day because my teacher wasn't there until the last five minutes of class. We'll start our presentations tomorrow, since we didn't get to start today. So I need to be ready towards the end of the week. I'm number nineteen, so I won't be presenting for a while. But my powerpoint is ready to be presented. I had to type up a project for English too, which I finished early too. I didn't finish my short story though, but I've progressing pretty well. I'm getting more descriptive with it though, which is good. Hopefully it keeps getting better.
                                                                    ~The Blogging Fangirl

End Of My Break And A Missing RP Partner

Not much really happened today. It's my last day before I have to go back to school though, which I really hate. I've enjoyed being off school for so long. But now Christmas will be rushing towards me and I won't know where the time went. It's incredible how quickly time moves when we're busy or having fun.

In other news, I lost a really great rp and I want to find him/her. We were having a great kid!lock rp where Sherlock's experiment turned him into a child. We kept getting disconnected, but I've loved it. I gave them my email address, but haven't gotten an email yet. I hope they contact me soon! In our rp, John was taking care of four-year-old Sherlock. John and Mycroft had agreed to take him to Mycroft's scientists when he trusted people so that they could run a few tests and see if they could reverse what Sherlock had done. When we got disconnected (technical error: Lost contact with the server and couldn't reach it after 3 tries), John was looking for Sherlock because the boy had run away and hidden under Sherlock's bed because he didn't want to take a bath. If you're my rp'er or find him/her later, please tell them or me or comment here! Thanks so much.
                                                       ~The Blogging Fangirl

Third Thanksgiving And Dark Moods

I actually had to be social today, which I rarely do myself. I had my third Thanksgiving meal. this one was with my mom's boyfriend's family. Yes, my parents are divorced. My dad is remarried, so I have two stepsisters and a stepbrother. My mom is dating. She's not rushing into anything so soon. Anyway, the meal was great. I got to have a wonderful ham, some mashed potatoes, green beans, and pepperoni. It was all delicious and now that I'm typing this, I'm getting hungry again and wishing I'd eaten more. It was all perfect though. I had two cans of Pepsi too, which was great. I was in one of my dark moods earlier, but it thankfully passed before we went. My dark moods are when I start to get self-destructive and suicidal thoughts. Sometimes murderous ones. But they're the moods that make me think about people and not care. The ones that would, by definition, make me a psychopath because I don't care about anyone. I don't feel anything then ad everything just seems so empty and pointless. Maybe you've felt this way sometimes. I feel it often. But it always seems to pass and I move on with my life. Sorry, didn't mean to bum you out or anything. Just needed to share it. So, I hope you've had a wonderful Thanksgiving, if you're celebrating it. Enjoy your family and friends.
                                                            ~The Blogging Fangirl

Sick And Thoughts Of Death

Unfortunately, I wasn't feeling very well yesterday, so I couldn't eat as much as I would've liked. My stomach hurt, I had a headache, and my entire body was sore. I felt awful. I slept plenty last night though, ate some lunch today, and am now feeling much better. I'm still sick, but yesterday seemed to be the worst of it. I still seem to have that UTI I posted about before though. It's been weeks and still nothing. I haven't done anything to get rid of it though. It seems to go away sometimes, but reappear others. I couldn't make myself swallow that cranberry supplement like I did before, so I haven't taken those either. I probably should though. It might be what's making me feel so awful. Combined with my usual winter allergies/cold. You know, last night I felt so awful, I kept thinking 'I am going to die.' And I was okay with that. I laid down on the floor and asked to be taken away, to be lifted into heaven so I wouldn't need to suffer anymore. Obviously that didn't happen, but I do feel better. But that's the thing. I sat there thinking I was dieing and I was okay with that. I knew it would happen some day. But the more I thought about it, the more I thought about how that's not how I want to go. I want it to be quick. I want to die in my sleep, like my Grandpa. Or maybe through a quick, painless poison or injection. I don't want it to be slow. So that's what I thought of. And that's what I still think of. My mind's a dark place, everyone. And this is just a little snippet of what's going on inside it.
                                                                 ~The Blogging Fangirl 

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I hope you all get to spend today with your family and maybe your friends. Even if you can't, make sure to let them know how thankful you are for them. I'm going to be at my aunt and uncle's house soon with my mom, sisters, brother, grandma, and cousin, as well as a few other family members. We're going to have a Thanksgiving meal my Grandma and aunt made and we'll sit around the living room, the tv on, and talk. It'll be fun. I really hope my headache goes away, but I'll be fine either way.
                                                                      ~The Blogging Fangirl

Confusion

So today's been full of confusion. I thought my younger siblings had a half-day at school today, but I was wrong. They had today off. And so does my mom. So much for my day off by myself. Oh well. I've had fun. I've gotten to rp most of the day. I made myself a nest in the living room to sleep in because I'm not allowed to sleep on the couch and I don't have a tv in my room. So I sleep downstairs whenever I don't have school the next day. That way I can stay up and watch tv. I rp then too. But I'll have to wash dishes and clean my room soon, so it'll be a bit boring. I'll get back to fun soon though.
                                                                ~The Blogging Fangirl

Grandparents Day And Annoying Dad

Today is Grandparents Day, so go give your grandparents a hug and thank them! Or, if they're deceased or not nearby, do something nice for those around you who take care of you. My school had a liturgy for the occasion. We had our amazing cookies, some coffee, and took pictures with our grandparents. I had a great time with my grandma. The only problem was my dad. After school, he always picks me up and takes me home. Today he was telling me that he's 'very disappointed that [I] didn't invite Nana and Pop.' Does he ever think that maybe I didn't invite them because I didn't want them there?! I can't stand them. They're my grandparents on my dad's side and all they do is insult people in my family, but act like it's just to help them. I didn't want them there, so I didn't invite them.
                                                               ~The Blogging Fangirl

Grandparents Day

I'm so tired right now. But at least tomorrow is my last day of school this week. It's Grandparents Day, which is great. The only thing is that I hate my grandparents on my Dad's side. They annoy me so much and I don't want them there. But the topic was brought up at our early Thanksgiving and my stepmom was acting all smart about it, like she was above me. I hate her too. None of them seem to realize that if I wanted them there, I would've invited them. I hate them, but I guess I have to put up with it.
                                                                   ~The Blogging Fangirl

Almost Thanksgiving Break!

Sorry I didn't post yesterday. Right as I was getting ready to pull up a tab on my laptop to post an update, my dad came and I had to go with him for the weekend. But I'm back now. And I have a two day week of school this week! I'm out on Wednesday for Thanksgiving Break and I couldn't be happier! This is great and I love it. I can't wait to have the house to myself for a while. But my younger siblings have a half-day Wednesday and no school every day after that, so I'll have to share the house with them then. Oh well.
                                                                  ~The Blogging Fangirl

Finally Friday!

It's finally Friday!!!!! I'm so incredibly happy about this. But I do have to go to my dad's house tomorrow morning and then work open house on Sunday. It'll be a crazy weekend, but I'm sure it'll be fun. Though there is the fact that my dad insists I go to church every weekend. I'm considering with my mom, but it might be easier to go with him anyway. We'll see what happens. But I'm likely going with him. 
                                                                    ~The Blogging Fangirl

Open House Tours

I went through tour guide training today. Nothing major. But when I actually have to give the tours, I'll need to be in dress uniform and carrying an umbrella. It'll be all right though. As long as I can remember what to say. I hope I'm not too sick to do it. I have a cold and I don't want to get congested or sniffly in the middle of a tour. I really hope they like me and the tour too. I want to convince them to choose my school. We'll see.
                                                                   ~The Blogging Fangirl

Not Much (Sorry!)

Today hasn't been very eventful either. I went to school, got homework, came home. Now I'm here. I learned that I'm going to be a tour guide at my school's open house, which will count toward my Pres service hours. I give tours around the school. I'll be trained tomorrow, during seventh period. I'll be doing it on my own, so I hope I do well. Wish me luck!
                                                                    ~The Blogging Fangirl

Early Update

I'll be babysitting tonight, so my update is a bit early. I don't know how long the parents will be out, so I wanted to make sure I let you all know how today was. No snow day, unfortunately. :( Not even a delay! But oh well. I got a lot of work done on projects. There's still some I need to work on, but I'm doing well so far. Hopefully I have more work days tomorrow, though one is due then. The performances went well and I'm sad to see them end. And that's pretty much all for now. Sorry I'm not more interesting.
                                                                  ~The Blogging Fangirl

Snow Day

Snow day for me today!!!!!! I have to make this one up, but I'll be fine. I got a day off, so I could catch up on some sleep and make sure I had all of my work done. Unfortunately, I doubt we'll have another snow day tomorrow. We'd have lessons online then, which I think would be super awesome!!!!! I could wear whatever I want and just do the work while I watch tv or rp. It would be the best. Oh well. We'll just have to wait and see next time. 
                                                               ~The Blogging Fangirl

Closing Night And Sunday

The performance yesterday was great and Senior speeches made me (almost) cry. I never realized how much I meant to these people and how much they've all done for me. It's been amazing and I hate having to say goodbye to them. But I know it's time I share them with the rest of the world. I'll miss them all so much and I love my theatre family.

Now that it's Sunday and the play is over, I'm just taking it easy. I need to relax before I have to get to school tomorrow. I slept in, showered this morning, ate, and now I'm on the computer. I'll be rp'ing soon and then go out for a bit. I hope you all have fun today and get the rest I'm sure you deserve!
                                                          ~The Blogging Fangirl

Late Update

Sorry my update is so late today. I had two performances and Senior Speeches tonight, so it's been a little crazy. I've loved it though, and I'm going to miss my theatre family. I've never loved a group of people more and I hate the thought of them leaving. But it's time for the rest of the world to see how amazing and wonderful they are. I didn't realize until tonight how many lives I'd saved. I can't say much, seeing as I promised what happened there stayed there because a lot of it was personal, but I didn't realize how much I meant to people and what would've happened had I not been there. I'm so glad they're all still around and I hope to see them all again soon.
                                                                  ~The Blogging Fangirl

So Much Stuff!

I have another show to do tonight. Then two more tomorrow. I have to get my senior letters written too. I can't let them go without giving those to them. Hopefully it won't be so cold tomorrow, though I don't it'll get any warmer. We usually do Senior Night outside. We might just have to go to the food court if it's too cold to have it outside. But I hope we get to do it where we usually do. It's really fun and sad and I love it. I'll try to let you all know how the performances go later. And I'll let you know if I get to watch the Hollywood Film Awards. Benedict Cumberbatch is going to be there!!!!!
                                                                        ~The Blogging Fangirl

Brush Up And A Late Arrival

I had a brush up rehearsal today, which is part of the reason this update is coming late. The other part is just because I kept rp'ing and was too lazy to update while I rp'ed. Sorry about that. Anyway, the rehearsal went well, so that's good. My dad was late picking me up from school today, so I got some chicken and fries from a fast food place, which were delicious. I'm also almost finished with my three page paper for class. I just have to finish the last half of my closing paragraph. Wish me luck with that!
                                                                       ~The Blogging Fangirl

Time Management And Projects

I failed my World Civ take home test. I was exhausted and really just copied the bare minimum from a friend. It was all due to exhaustion and poor time management. So my advice: Learn how to manage your time!!!!! I'm awful with time management, but I'm starting to get better. I've got a lot more projects to work on this year and I know there will only be more in the future. One future project is planning a wedding for Theology. We have to plan around a budget and it has to be in a church. I think it has to be a real person (that you marry) too. But that's not until next year for me, so I'll worry more about that then.
                                                                      ~The Blogging Fangirl

A Cold And Short Story

I have a cold, or allergies, or something. I've been sniffling and coughing, my head hurts, and I feel nauseous. The nausea is mostly in the morning, but it lasts through the entire day. It's worst in the morning though. Anyway, I have plenty to do. I have to have my characters planned out in detail for my English class tomorrow. We're writing short stories and I know pretty much nothing about my characters so far. But the basic plot is a dishonorably discharged soldier who has taken it upon himself to kill those he determines are criminals. They're people who either can't be convicted or were found innocent, but he believes are guilty. I need character descriptions though. 
                                                                    ~The Blogging Fangirl

Exhaustion

I am exhausted right now. I need to get some sleep, but I still have plenty left to do. Well, I need to type up and email out a thank you letter. But right now, this is my personal relaxation time. This is the time I need scheduled into every day so that I can just relax and unwind after all of the crazy things that happen to me. I was snappish with everyone today because I was tired. My significant other noticed and it made him/her feel bad thinking he/she had caused it. I felt bad for that, but I was just too tired to deal with people. On top of that, I felt like I was going to throw up this morning. Hopefully I don't. Especially since I have a performance this weekend. Three shows. I can't be sick. I have a cold, but that's all right for now.
                                                              ~The Blogging Fangirl

Homework And Theatre

Back home now. I did two shows yesterday and had to go to church today, so I'm exhausted. And I'm not done yet. I still have a project to do to turn in on Monday, a take-home test to do, and other homework. But for me, the show comes first. Really, school should come first. I know that. But the show was most important in those moments. I had cues I had to make sure I didn't miss, words to make sure I knew. I didn't want to miss anything. So let's hope I can get all of this done before tomorrow.
                                                               ~The Blogging Fangirl

Opening Night

It's opening night for the play I'm in tonight. I'm both thrilled and terrified right now. I'm excited that we're finally getting to show off everything we've done and everyone will get to see our hard work. But I'm worried about everything that could go wrong. I know I shouldn't worry about that, since I can't prevent most of it. But I can't help it. We'll just have to wait and see how everything goes.
                                                                   ~The Blogging Fangirl

Congratulations To Benedict Cumberbatch And Sophie Hunter (Plus A Message To Fans)

I just want to congratulate Benedict Cumberbatch on his engagement. The fact that he flew out to ask her parents' permission, then posted an ad in the paper about it is just adorable! I'm so happy for him and for Sophie Hunter. I hope they're happy together for as long as they live and that they can have the family that Benedict has talked about wanting.

While I'm talking about Sophie Hunter, I need to address the issue of jealous fans and people who go overboard. Yes, I'm jealous of Sophie Hunter. But I'm also happy for them and I'm glad Benedict found someone he wants to spend the rest of his life with. But can we all agree on one thing? Don't send her hate mail or death threats like Amanda Abbington got when she started playing Mary on 'Sherlock'. Neither of them deserve it and we all know it would upset both Sophie and Benedict. Let's just let them live like any other couple would. Let them be married and happy. And, should they have children, don't hate on them either. Let the family live happily. Please.
                                                                      ~The Blogging Fangirl

Late Rehearsal

My late rehearsal is tonight, which is why I'm posting earlier than usual. I also got out of school earlier today, and didn't have Drama Club, which helped. I'm bringing homework with me to rehearsal so that I can work on that when I'm backstage. I have to figure out which dressing room I'm in when I get there tonight. We have to figure out costume changes and everything and timing. Wish us all luck! (Break a leg!)
                                                                   ~The Blogging Fangirl

Rehearsal Things

Rehearsal was actually really good tonight. Most lines were remembered and loud. We sang well, we had emotion. We danced the way we were supposed to and learned to work around everything we had to. Tomorrow, I may or may not decide to wear my makeup. I'll likely do my hair and I'll definitely be in costume. We'll see how it all goes. Also tomorrow, I have rehearsal late, so my post will be earlier. I have it at an odd time for me and I won't be able to post afterwards.
                                                                  ~The Blogging Fangirl

Done With The Director

I'm getting seriously fed up with my director. She's telling all of us that we're not loud enough when most of us are sick, and we're all doing the best that we can to be loud. A lot of people are singing with other people, so they're louder than the people with solos. I'm trying to be louder, but I'm sick and it's harder for me right now to project higher notes, which is what I have to sing on my own. My throat hurts, I'm coughing, I'm on my period, and my toe is hurt. I've just now gotten the giant fork that I have to dance with/around, and she's telling me the first day of tech week, the week the play opens, that something's wrong. If she knew for so long that she didn't think I was loud enough, she could've replaced me then. I'm trying to be louder and she needs to get over it. I'll be fine the night of the play. I really just want her to shut up for a while and think about all of the things that we're doing right.
                                                                   ~The Blogging Fangirl

Injured Toes, Periods, And A Play

So new news: I hurt my toe, my mom hurt her toe, and I'm on my period. Tomorrow starts tech week for the play, which I'm already frustrated with because I have to adapt my choreography around something new now. I'm going to be on my period opening night. This is just /fantastic/. Can't you just feel the sarcasm? I know I'm not the only one on my period right now in the play, and we're probably all going to snap at each other, periods or not. This is going to be a fun week. Welcome to Hell.
                                                                 ~The Blogging Fangirl

100 Blog Posts

I just realized that this will be my 100th blog post. Yay!!!!! Thanks to those of you who have read this since the beginning, and to any new readers I may have. I know this blog probably isn't very interesting or helpful to a lot of people, but I'm glad you choose to read it. It really is like a diary for me that I update (almost) nightly. I love typing up what I'm doing, thinking, and feeling here. And I can look through them posts any time I want and see what I've talked about. So thanks to all of you.
                                                                      ~The Blogging Fangirl

Happy Halloween! (And A Costume Update)

As the title says, happy Halloween, everyone! What did you all dress up as? I was a fem!Jack Skellington, from Nightmare Before Christmas. Hardly anyone knew who I was, but it was fun. I got some candy and enjoyed my day.

I got to see my costume today too, for the play. It's going to be extremely awkward though, because I have to hold something for my costume while I dance. It won't work. I have to use both of my hands for my dances. I don't know what the director expects me to do about that.
                                                                    ~The Blogging Fangirl

Spinning Table And Halloween

Rehearsal again tonight, yay! (So much sarcasm.....) I had to stay until 6:30 tonight, but it wasn't so bad. We ran a fun scene and we didn't have too many notes from the director and the choreographer. The orchestra messed up, which messed us up, but they're just starting to practice. The director said she wanted me and another actor to spin our prop table. There's a small problem with that though. The table is heavy. Not to mention there's a large teenager standing on it while we're suppose to spin it. We tried, but it didn't work.

Anyway, tomorrow is Halloween. I'll be sure to let you all know what I am when I get to blog.
                                                                  ~The Blogging Fangirl

Rehearsal And Great Britain Trip

More rehearsal today. I'm getting really tired, both physically and emotionally. At least it gives me time to finish my homework while I'm not on stage. But it also means I don't have as much time here to talk to you all and rp with others.

In other news, I'm considering taking a school trip in a couple of years to Great Britain. We'd be going to Ireland, Scotland, and England. I'd get to have a free day in Scotland and a free day in London, which really excites me. Hopefully I'll get to go.
                                                                  ~The Blogging Fangirl

More Rehearsal And Losing My Sanity

Rehearsal again today. I've run the same songs and dance numbers repeatedly for the past three hours and I've really had enough. But I can't quit because next week is tech week, So, even though I'm exhausted and I really just want to quit life and sleep, I have to get all of my work done so I can pass my classes and perform soon. Wish me luck keeping my sanity this month.
                                                                 ~The Blogging Fangirl

Long Rehearsals

I'm going insane with all of these long rehearsals! I'm exhausted, my throat is sore, I have a cough, and I'm getting really tired of hearing the same songs and lines over and over. Not to mention that the choreography isn't looking much better than it did on day one with one of our songs. It's getting frustrating, but then again it's almost tech week, the worst time of all. It's awful, but it'll be worth it in the end. I hope.
                                                                       ~The Blogging Fangirl

A Misunderstanding And Back Home

Home again, home again. I love being back. I've never particularly liked being at my dad's apartment and I hated it even more this time. There was a huge misunderstanding that ended with me upset and crying and my stepsister grounded for an indefinite amount of time. She was pretty pissed at me for a while, but things mellowed. My dad gave me a speech about how I should've gone to him before telling my mom and then it would've gotten cleared up. I made it clear to him that I'm going to tell my mom first if there's anything being said about her. I think she has the right to know first, since it's about her. Then we can all work on getting things cleared up. But that's what I believe and he'll just have to deal with it.
                                                                 ~The Blogging Fangirl

Rehearsals

Rehearsal was actually pretty fun today. I got to work on the battle scene, so I ran across stage a lot. I get to chase villagers, so that'll be fun. Unfortunately, there's also an added rehearsal on Monday that I need to be at. I may only stay until 5:30 though, so I'll get to leave before it gets too late. I hate having to stay so late. I wish we could work during the day, but I have school. Oh well. I'll just have to take what I can get and work on the performance as much as I can.
                                                                     ~The Blogging Fangirl

Back To Rehearsal

Back to rehearsal for me tomorrow. I've got to work on a scene where I may possibly be carried across stage. We'll see. I have to be there until 5:30 though, which I don't really like. But it's all right. Because during tech week, I have times when I'll be there until 9:30. I hate it, but that's the way it is. A three and a half hour rehearsal. I just hope all goes well with it.
                                                                      ~The Blogging Fangirl

A Challenge To My Readers (Changing The World)

After watching a newer episode of "Girl Meets World", I've been inspired. And I've created a challenge for myself and for everyone else.

 

Challenge:

Own your flaws. We all have them. Often times, when we recognize our flaws in others, we lash out and bully them, hiding the same flaw in ourselves. Rather than hide it, own it. Show it.

 

I dare all of you who read this to write 'I AM ________.' on a Post-It note or a piece of paper. Fill in the blank with a flaw of yours. Any one you chose. Wear that for the rest of the day where everyone can see it. Keep it on and let everyone see your flaw. And pass it on! Tell everyone about this challenge and let it spread until people everywhere are showing their flaws to the world, bearing themselves to others.

 

You have your job. Let's get out there and change the world!

                                                                      ~The Blogging Fangirl

UTI 2, Significant Other Trouble, And Rehearsal Tomorrow

So, the UTI is getting better. Still not quite gone, but getting there. My significant other made a jealous comment at lunch and I feel like I'm ignoring him/her. The way he/she said it, it sounded like I was completely cutting him/her out of the conversation. But really he/she is just a soft speaker. It wasn't that I cut him/her out. I just couldn't hear him/her. I apologized and I think he/she feels better now. In other news, I go back to rehearsal tomorrow! I'm not ready now, but I will be after some rest. I hope so anyway!
                                                                       ~The Blogging Fangirl

Ready Or Not?

I'm definitely not ready to go back to school tomorrow. I've been enjoying my time off and extra sleep and I don't want to have to return to my normal schedule again. Not to mention the past few days when I didn't have rehearsal. It's been wonderful to get a break. I suppose I'm partially ready to head back though. I look forward to the dancing and singing in rehearsal. Though by the time I actually have play practice, I'll probably be posting about how much I don't want to go. But right now, I think I'm ready.
                                                                ~The Blogging Fangirl

My Extra Day Off And My Annoying Sister

So, while my siblings are returning to school tomorrow, I still have one more day off! Not to mention my older sister is away for two weeks, so I'll have the house to myself tomorrow. I still have plenty I have to do, but it's nice not to have to deal with her. She's not exactly the most delightful person to be around. Especially now. It's like she's constantly on her period. She complains at the smallest things and her moods are constantly changing. It's ridiculous! I'm getting really tired of dealing with her and I really wish she'd just move out. She's great sometimes, but I don't want to put up with her anymore.
                                                             ~The Blogging Fangirl

Another UTI, UGH!

Fun, fun news. I seem to have another UTI, which I discovered today. However, I thankfully seem to have caught this one early, so I can stop it a bit more quickly. I still have my cranberry supplements, which I took when I first discovered my 2nd UTI this afternoon. Hopefully it will be gone soon. I really don't want to have to deal with it while I've got play rehearsal to deal with. But I know what to do and hopefully it will all work out so I can get rid of this. Wish me luck!
                                                                       ~The Blogging Fangirl

Found Ring, Lost Case

For those of you who are wondering, I do have my promise ring again. I have it on as we speak. It's gorgeous and I love it. But now I can't seem to find the cover for my kindle case. It's not anything major and I can live without it. But it worries me not to have it. I worry that the screen on my kindle fire will break without it. I just hope I find it soon. I hate not having it. I have to clean my bedroom tomorrow though, so hopefully I will find it then.
                                                                      ~The Blogging Fangirl

Lost Promise Ring

I'm really nervous right now because I can't remember exactly where I put my promise ring. I forgot to put it on before I left the house and I need to remember where exactly it is so I know I didn't lose it. I'd hate to have lost something that means so much to me. And I know it would make my significant other feel bad and like I don't want it. I don't want to make him/her feel bad and I don't want to have lost it. I really hope I find it when I get home tonight.
                                                                     ~The Blogging Fangirl

Rehearsal, Masturbation, And Fall Break

Not much of an update this time. I'm just taking a break for about another hour or so until I have to go back to school for play practice. I have no idea what exactly we'll be going over, but I know it's the entire cast that'll be there today. Hopefully it goes well. In other news, (And THIS PART IS PERSONAL, so if you don't want to read it, skip over it) I've discovered this part of me that feels amazing when it's touched. Yes, I'm talking about masturbation. Sorry I'm late getting on that train, but I'm here now. It felt so good. I learned I can take two fingers right now and three up the the first knuckle. I found places that make me feel amazing too. But I also learned that most women can't orgasm from just sex. I don't feel so bad now. We'll see how it goes later on. (END OF PRIVATE INFO) So, other than that, it's really just play practice and fall break for the next week. I'll definitely enjoy the time off. And I hope you all enjoy whatever you're doing for this next week.
                                                                 ~The Blogging Fangirl

Good Day And Fall Break

Today was actually pretty nice. I had a field trip and had fun, even though it rained and my shoes and socks got wet. I'm more relaxed now that most of my projects are finished. I still have plenty to do, but it's less now. Tomorrow I have testing day, get out of school early, then return for rehearsal. On the bright(er) side, I have the day off until Monday. I also have rehearsal on Thursday, but I still get a bit of a break. I'm really looking forward to it.
                                                                       ~The Blogging Fangirl

More Relaxed Now

Today actually wasn't that bad. I was a bit miffed for most of it, just not happy about the mandatory rehearsal I had to be at afterwards. Not to mention the test I had to take today. But I got a free period to get my project done for contemporary literature in English, so I printed it out. It's ready to go and that's one thing I can check off my list. I still need to get my costume ready and work on my dancing for the play. But I feel a lot more relaxed now that I've gotten most of my things finished.
                                                                ~The Blogging Fangirl

Is My Omegle Gmail Account Showing?

I'm kind of panicking right now because I don't know if my mom's laptop will show my omegle gmail account. I know I removed it when I logged out before I left. But I restarted the computer, so I don't know if it will show it or not. I don't think it will, but I really don't want to take that chance. I'm not at home at the moment, though other people are, so I can't check and see if it shows. I'm pretty sure it won't and hope it doesn't. I'll check when I get home to see if it's up or not. She doesn't usually use gmail, so it shouldn't show.
                                                                  ~The Blogging Fangirl

Promise Ring And Poem

I have a promise ring! :) You have no idea how happy I am right now. I've gotten to see my significant other and he/she (won't tell you which ;) ) gave me a promise ring and a poem. I am so unbelievably happy. After kissing and walking together and him/her giving me my gifts, I came home with a clear head and light heart. And now I'm starting to be grounded again. I've started thinking about everything I have to do this weekend and figuring out when I'll have time to actually do it. Let's try to keep me happy for a bit longer! :)
                                                                      ~The Blogging Fangirl

So Much To Do

I have too much stuff to do! I have projects, and homework, and schoolwork, and rehearsals. It's driving me insane! Not to mention that I need Microsoft Publisher to work on one of my projects and I don't have that at home. I can technically still work on it, but I can't really put it all together until I get to school. Even then, I don't really have time to work on it much. I just hope I can get it all done before the due date so I don't have to worry so much. The director keeps adding in late mandatory rehearsals too and she insists we not schedule anything else besides school so we have time to rehearse. I have better things to do than that! I have school things and those come first. So wish me luck with all of this. And if any of you know of a good website to get a free trial of Microsoft Publisher, please leave a link in the comments. It would be a great help to me. Thanks so much.
                                                                        ~The Blogging Fangirl

Theatre Rehearsal Problems

I hate this!!!!!! So many of us are considering quitting the play, it's unbelievable. We're expected to do Broadway moves when we're not even in college. The director said I'd only need to be there today until 4:30 pm and asked while we were rehearsing if she'd have everyone there until 5:30 pm. I left around 5 pm. I had to go home and eat dinner, regardless of the play. I know I need to put in a lot of work so this can look good, but I can't stay like that all the time. Especially when my ride is waiting. I need to go home and eat dinner. She also asked if we could come back tomorrow. I have a project I need to work on, so I'm doing that. I'll see everyone again on Monday and we can go over things then. I'm not going to be there tomorrow. So, anyway, thanks for letting me vent.
                                                                                                         ~The Blogging Fangirl

Headache And More Rehearsals

My head hurts!!! I just recently got home from rehearsal where I needed to take in all of the new dance steps and positions. She (the director) also added in two more rehearsals for me: one tomorrow and one on Monday. I need to be fitted for a costume tomorrow too, first thing. Wish me luck juggling everything!
                                                                      ~The Blogging Fangirl

Learning Music

So, I found out today that I have to have a song memorized by tomorrow for the play. It's the largest, longest number in the entire performance and it has four part harmony in it. I hate having to learn all of this music so quickly! It seems like we're moving too fast, but it makes sense when I look at the calendar and see how little time we have left before we put on our shows. I just hope we can make it. 
                                                                       ~The Blogging Fangirl

One Scene Play

My one scene play is about to drive me insane. I'm trying to meet my word limit of at least 800 words. But with my basic plot, it's hard to have a lot of dialogue. I don't know if my teacher that I have to write this for will count dialogue and the 'setting the scene' paragraph or if only dialogue will count for my 800-1200 words. I've asked and am currently waiting for a reply. We shall see.....
                                                                    ~The Blogging Fangirl

Cold And Ready For Rehearsal

I'm cold again! And sadly, it's the end of the weekend. :( But I get to start learning one of the dances for the play this Wednesday, which I'm looking forward to. I'm sure I'll be complaining later on about not wanting to go and being too tired, but I really am looking forward to it. Not to mention that I have fall break the week after. I'll have a fieldtrip, then 11:30 dismissal, then two days off, then the weekend. I can't wait!
                                                                ~The Blogging Fangirl

Freezing And Character Shoes

I'm so cold!!!!! It just got cold today here and I'm freezing! But it's supposed to warm up again soon, so I'll feel better. In other news, I got my character shoes for the play today! I'm so excited! They fit wonderfully and I can't wait to try them out on stage! It's going to be amazing! Next week, we start learning dances for two songs. I'm really excited for this. It's a huge number and I'm kind of nervous about it too, but I can't wait!
                                                                                                    ~The Blogging Fangirl