End Of My Break And A Missing RP Partner

Not much really happened today. It's my last day before I have to go back to school though, which I really hate. I've enjoyed being off school for so long. But now Christmas will be rushing towards me and I won't know where the time went. It's incredible how quickly time moves when we're busy or having fun.

In other news, I lost a really great rp and I want to find him/her. We were having a great kid!lock rp where Sherlock's experiment turned him into a child. We kept getting disconnected, but I've loved it. I gave them my email address, but haven't gotten an email yet. I hope they contact me soon! In our rp, John was taking care of four-year-old Sherlock. John and Mycroft had agreed to take him to Mycroft's scientists when he trusted people so that they could run a few tests and see if they could reverse what Sherlock had done. When we got disconnected (technical error: Lost contact with the server and couldn't reach it after 3 tries), John was looking for Sherlock because the boy had run away and hidden under Sherlock's bed because he didn't want to take a bath. If you're my rp'er or find him/her later, please tell them or me or comment here! Thanks so much.
                                                       ~The Blogging Fangirl

Third Thanksgiving And Dark Moods

I actually had to be social today, which I rarely do myself. I had my third Thanksgiving meal. this one was with my mom's boyfriend's family. Yes, my parents are divorced. My dad is remarried, so I have two stepsisters and a stepbrother. My mom is dating. She's not rushing into anything so soon. Anyway, the meal was great. I got to have a wonderful ham, some mashed potatoes, green beans, and pepperoni. It was all delicious and now that I'm typing this, I'm getting hungry again and wishing I'd eaten more. It was all perfect though. I had two cans of Pepsi too, which was great. I was in one of my dark moods earlier, but it thankfully passed before we went. My dark moods are when I start to get self-destructive and suicidal thoughts. Sometimes murderous ones. But they're the moods that make me think about people and not care. The ones that would, by definition, make me a psychopath because I don't care about anyone. I don't feel anything then ad everything just seems so empty and pointless. Maybe you've felt this way sometimes. I feel it often. But it always seems to pass and I move on with my life. Sorry, didn't mean to bum you out or anything. Just needed to share it. So, I hope you've had a wonderful Thanksgiving, if you're celebrating it. Enjoy your family and friends.
                                                            ~The Blogging Fangirl

Sick And Thoughts Of Death

Unfortunately, I wasn't feeling very well yesterday, so I couldn't eat as much as I would've liked. My stomach hurt, I had a headache, and my entire body was sore. I felt awful. I slept plenty last night though, ate some lunch today, and am now feeling much better. I'm still sick, but yesterday seemed to be the worst of it. I still seem to have that UTI I posted about before though. It's been weeks and still nothing. I haven't done anything to get rid of it though. It seems to go away sometimes, but reappear others. I couldn't make myself swallow that cranberry supplement like I did before, so I haven't taken those either. I probably should though. It might be what's making me feel so awful. Combined with my usual winter allergies/cold. You know, last night I felt so awful, I kept thinking 'I am going to die.' And I was okay with that. I laid down on the floor and asked to be taken away, to be lifted into heaven so I wouldn't need to suffer anymore. Obviously that didn't happen, but I do feel better. But that's the thing. I sat there thinking I was dieing and I was okay with that. I knew it would happen some day. But the more I thought about it, the more I thought about how that's not how I want to go. I want it to be quick. I want to die in my sleep, like my Grandpa. Or maybe through a quick, painless poison or injection. I don't want it to be slow. So that's what I thought of. And that's what I still think of. My mind's a dark place, everyone. And this is just a little snippet of what's going on inside it.
                                                                 ~The Blogging Fangirl 

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I hope you all get to spend today with your family and maybe your friends. Even if you can't, make sure to let them know how thankful you are for them. I'm going to be at my aunt and uncle's house soon with my mom, sisters, brother, grandma, and cousin, as well as a few other family members. We're going to have a Thanksgiving meal my Grandma and aunt made and we'll sit around the living room, the tv on, and talk. It'll be fun. I really hope my headache goes away, but I'll be fine either way.
                                                                      ~The Blogging Fangirl

Confusion

So today's been full of confusion. I thought my younger siblings had a half-day at school today, but I was wrong. They had today off. And so does my mom. So much for my day off by myself. Oh well. I've had fun. I've gotten to rp most of the day. I made myself a nest in the living room to sleep in because I'm not allowed to sleep on the couch and I don't have a tv in my room. So I sleep downstairs whenever I don't have school the next day. That way I can stay up and watch tv. I rp then too. But I'll have to wash dishes and clean my room soon, so it'll be a bit boring. I'll get back to fun soon though.
                                                                ~The Blogging Fangirl

Grandparents Day And Annoying Dad

Today is Grandparents Day, so go give your grandparents a hug and thank them! Or, if they're deceased or not nearby, do something nice for those around you who take care of you. My school had a liturgy for the occasion. We had our amazing cookies, some coffee, and took pictures with our grandparents. I had a great time with my grandma. The only problem was my dad. After school, he always picks me up and takes me home. Today he was telling me that he's 'very disappointed that [I] didn't invite Nana and Pop.' Does he ever think that maybe I didn't invite them because I didn't want them there?! I can't stand them. They're my grandparents on my dad's side and all they do is insult people in my family, but act like it's just to help them. I didn't want them there, so I didn't invite them.
                                                               ~The Blogging Fangirl

Grandparents Day

I'm so tired right now. But at least tomorrow is my last day of school this week. It's Grandparents Day, which is great. The only thing is that I hate my grandparents on my Dad's side. They annoy me so much and I don't want them there. But the topic was brought up at our early Thanksgiving and my stepmom was acting all smart about it, like she was above me. I hate her too. None of them seem to realize that if I wanted them there, I would've invited them. I hate them, but I guess I have to put up with it.
                                                                   ~The Blogging Fangirl