End Of My Break And A Missing RP Partner

Not much really happened today. It's my last day before I have to go back to school though, which I really hate. I've enjoyed being off school for so long. But now Christmas will be rushing towards me and I won't know where the time went. It's incredible how quickly time moves when we're busy or having fun.

In other news, I lost a really great rp and I want to find him/her. We were having a great kid!lock rp where Sherlock's experiment turned him into a child. We kept getting disconnected, but I've loved it. I gave them my email address, but haven't gotten an email yet. I hope they contact me soon! In our rp, John was taking care of four-year-old Sherlock. John and Mycroft had agreed to take him to Mycroft's scientists when he trusted people so that they could run a few tests and see if they could reverse what Sherlock had done. When we got disconnected (technical error: Lost contact with the server and couldn't reach it after 3 tries), John was looking for Sherlock because the boy had run away and hidden under Sherlock's bed because he didn't want to take a bath. If you're my rp'er or find him/her later, please tell them or me or comment here! Thanks so much.
                                                       ~The Blogging Fangirl

Third Thanksgiving And Dark Moods

I actually had to be social today, which I rarely do myself. I had my third Thanksgiving meal. this one was with my mom's boyfriend's family. Yes, my parents are divorced. My dad is remarried, so I have two stepsisters and a stepbrother. My mom is dating. She's not rushing into anything so soon. Anyway, the meal was great. I got to have a wonderful ham, some mashed potatoes, green beans, and pepperoni. It was all delicious and now that I'm typing this, I'm getting hungry again and wishing I'd eaten more. It was all perfect though. I had two cans of Pepsi too, which was great. I was in one of my dark moods earlier, but it thankfully passed before we went. My dark moods are when I start to get self-destructive and suicidal thoughts. Sometimes murderous ones. But they're the moods that make me think about people and not care. The ones that would, by definition, make me a psychopath because I don't care about anyone. I don't feel anything then ad everything just seems so empty and pointless. Maybe you've felt this way sometimes. I feel it often. But it always seems to pass and I move on with my life. Sorry, didn't mean to bum you out or anything. Just needed to share it. So, I hope you've had a wonderful Thanksgiving, if you're celebrating it. Enjoy your family and friends.
                                                            ~The Blogging Fangirl

Sick And Thoughts Of Death

Unfortunately, I wasn't feeling very well yesterday, so I couldn't eat as much as I would've liked. My stomach hurt, I had a headache, and my entire body was sore. I felt awful. I slept plenty last night though, ate some lunch today, and am now feeling much better. I'm still sick, but yesterday seemed to be the worst of it. I still seem to have that UTI I posted about before though. It's been weeks and still nothing. I haven't done anything to get rid of it though. It seems to go away sometimes, but reappear others. I couldn't make myself swallow that cranberry supplement like I did before, so I haven't taken those either. I probably should though. It might be what's making me feel so awful. Combined with my usual winter allergies/cold. You know, last night I felt so awful, I kept thinking 'I am going to die.' And I was okay with that. I laid down on the floor and asked to be taken away, to be lifted into heaven so I wouldn't need to suffer anymore. Obviously that didn't happen, but I do feel better. But that's the thing. I sat there thinking I was dieing and I was okay with that. I knew it would happen some day. But the more I thought about it, the more I thought about how that's not how I want to go. I want it to be quick. I want to die in my sleep, like my Grandpa. Or maybe through a quick, painless poison or injection. I don't want it to be slow. So that's what I thought of. And that's what I still think of. My mind's a dark place, everyone. And this is just a little snippet of what's going on inside it.
                                                                 ~The Blogging Fangirl 

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I hope you all get to spend today with your family and maybe your friends. Even if you can't, make sure to let them know how thankful you are for them. I'm going to be at my aunt and uncle's house soon with my mom, sisters, brother, grandma, and cousin, as well as a few other family members. We're going to have a Thanksgiving meal my Grandma and aunt made and we'll sit around the living room, the tv on, and talk. It'll be fun. I really hope my headache goes away, but I'll be fine either way.
                                                                      ~The Blogging Fangirl

Confusion

So today's been full of confusion. I thought my younger siblings had a half-day at school today, but I was wrong. They had today off. And so does my mom. So much for my day off by myself. Oh well. I've had fun. I've gotten to rp most of the day. I made myself a nest in the living room to sleep in because I'm not allowed to sleep on the couch and I don't have a tv in my room. So I sleep downstairs whenever I don't have school the next day. That way I can stay up and watch tv. I rp then too. But I'll have to wash dishes and clean my room soon, so it'll be a bit boring. I'll get back to fun soon though.
                                                                ~The Blogging Fangirl

Grandparents Day And Annoying Dad

Today is Grandparents Day, so go give your grandparents a hug and thank them! Or, if they're deceased or not nearby, do something nice for those around you who take care of you. My school had a liturgy for the occasion. We had our amazing cookies, some coffee, and took pictures with our grandparents. I had a great time with my grandma. The only problem was my dad. After school, he always picks me up and takes me home. Today he was telling me that he's 'very disappointed that [I] didn't invite Nana and Pop.' Does he ever think that maybe I didn't invite them because I didn't want them there?! I can't stand them. They're my grandparents on my dad's side and all they do is insult people in my family, but act like it's just to help them. I didn't want them there, so I didn't invite them.
                                                               ~The Blogging Fangirl

Grandparents Day

I'm so tired right now. But at least tomorrow is my last day of school this week. It's Grandparents Day, which is great. The only thing is that I hate my grandparents on my Dad's side. They annoy me so much and I don't want them there. But the topic was brought up at our early Thanksgiving and my stepmom was acting all smart about it, like she was above me. I hate her too. None of them seem to realize that if I wanted them there, I would've invited them. I hate them, but I guess I have to put up with it.
                                                                   ~The Blogging Fangirl

Almost Thanksgiving Break!

Sorry I didn't post yesterday. Right as I was getting ready to pull up a tab on my laptop to post an update, my dad came and I had to go with him for the weekend. But I'm back now. And I have a two day week of school this week! I'm out on Wednesday for Thanksgiving Break and I couldn't be happier! This is great and I love it. I can't wait to have the house to myself for a while. But my younger siblings have a half-day Wednesday and no school every day after that, so I'll have to share the house with them then. Oh well.
                                                                  ~The Blogging Fangirl

Finally Friday!

It's finally Friday!!!!! I'm so incredibly happy about this. But I do have to go to my dad's house tomorrow morning and then work open house on Sunday. It'll be a crazy weekend, but I'm sure it'll be fun. Though there is the fact that my dad insists I go to church every weekend. I'm considering with my mom, but it might be easier to go with him anyway. We'll see what happens. But I'm likely going with him. 
                                                                    ~The Blogging Fangirl

Open House Tours

I went through tour guide training today. Nothing major. But when I actually have to give the tours, I'll need to be in dress uniform and carrying an umbrella. It'll be all right though. As long as I can remember what to say. I hope I'm not too sick to do it. I have a cold and I don't want to get congested or sniffly in the middle of a tour. I really hope they like me and the tour too. I want to convince them to choose my school. We'll see.
                                                                   ~The Blogging Fangirl

Not Much (Sorry!)

Today hasn't been very eventful either. I went to school, got homework, came home. Now I'm here. I learned that I'm going to be a tour guide at my school's open house, which will count toward my Pres service hours. I give tours around the school. I'll be trained tomorrow, during seventh period. I'll be doing it on my own, so I hope I do well. Wish me luck!
                                                                    ~The Blogging Fangirl

Early Update

I'll be babysitting tonight, so my update is a bit early. I don't know how long the parents will be out, so I wanted to make sure I let you all know how today was. No snow day, unfortunately. :( Not even a delay! But oh well. I got a lot of work done on projects. There's still some I need to work on, but I'm doing well so far. Hopefully I have more work days tomorrow, though one is due then. The performances went well and I'm sad to see them end. And that's pretty much all for now. Sorry I'm not more interesting.
                                                                  ~The Blogging Fangirl

Snow Day

Snow day for me today!!!!!! I have to make this one up, but I'll be fine. I got a day off, so I could catch up on some sleep and make sure I had all of my work done. Unfortunately, I doubt we'll have another snow day tomorrow. We'd have lessons online then, which I think would be super awesome!!!!! I could wear whatever I want and just do the work while I watch tv or rp. It would be the best. Oh well. We'll just have to wait and see next time. 
                                                               ~The Blogging Fangirl

Closing Night And Sunday

The performance yesterday was great and Senior speeches made me (almost) cry. I never realized how much I meant to these people and how much they've all done for me. It's been amazing and I hate having to say goodbye to them. But I know it's time I share them with the rest of the world. I'll miss them all so much and I love my theatre family.

Now that it's Sunday and the play is over, I'm just taking it easy. I need to relax before I have to get to school tomorrow. I slept in, showered this morning, ate, and now I'm on the computer. I'll be rp'ing soon and then go out for a bit. I hope you all have fun today and get the rest I'm sure you deserve!
                                                          ~The Blogging Fangirl

Late Update

Sorry my update is so late today. I had two performances and Senior Speeches tonight, so it's been a little crazy. I've loved it though, and I'm going to miss my theatre family. I've never loved a group of people more and I hate the thought of them leaving. But it's time for the rest of the world to see how amazing and wonderful they are. I didn't realize until tonight how many lives I'd saved. I can't say much, seeing as I promised what happened there stayed there because a lot of it was personal, but I didn't realize how much I meant to people and what would've happened had I not been there. I'm so glad they're all still around and I hope to see them all again soon.
                                                                  ~The Blogging Fangirl

So Much Stuff!

I have another show to do tonight. Then two more tomorrow. I have to get my senior letters written too. I can't let them go without giving those to them. Hopefully it won't be so cold tomorrow, though I don't it'll get any warmer. We usually do Senior Night outside. We might just have to go to the food court if it's too cold to have it outside. But I hope we get to do it where we usually do. It's really fun and sad and I love it. I'll try to let you all know how the performances go later. And I'll let you know if I get to watch the Hollywood Film Awards. Benedict Cumberbatch is going to be there!!!!!
                                                                        ~The Blogging Fangirl

Brush Up And A Late Arrival

I had a brush up rehearsal today, which is part of the reason this update is coming late. The other part is just because I kept rp'ing and was too lazy to update while I rp'ed. Sorry about that. Anyway, the rehearsal went well, so that's good. My dad was late picking me up from school today, so I got some chicken and fries from a fast food place, which were delicious. I'm also almost finished with my three page paper for class. I just have to finish the last half of my closing paragraph. Wish me luck with that!
                                                                       ~The Blogging Fangirl

Time Management And Projects

I failed my World Civ take home test. I was exhausted and really just copied the bare minimum from a friend. It was all due to exhaustion and poor time management. So my advice: Learn how to manage your time!!!!! I'm awful with time management, but I'm starting to get better. I've got a lot more projects to work on this year and I know there will only be more in the future. One future project is planning a wedding for Theology. We have to plan around a budget and it has to be in a church. I think it has to be a real person (that you marry) too. But that's not until next year for me, so I'll worry more about that then.
                                                                      ~The Blogging Fangirl

A Cold And Short Story

I have a cold, or allergies, or something. I've been sniffling and coughing, my head hurts, and I feel nauseous. The nausea is mostly in the morning, but it lasts through the entire day. It's worst in the morning though. Anyway, I have plenty to do. I have to have my characters planned out in detail for my English class tomorrow. We're writing short stories and I know pretty much nothing about my characters so far. But the basic plot is a dishonorably discharged soldier who has taken it upon himself to kill those he determines are criminals. They're people who either can't be convicted or were found innocent, but he believes are guilty. I need character descriptions though. 
                                                                    ~The Blogging Fangirl

Exhaustion

I am exhausted right now. I need to get some sleep, but I still have plenty left to do. Well, I need to type up and email out a thank you letter. But right now, this is my personal relaxation time. This is the time I need scheduled into every day so that I can just relax and unwind after all of the crazy things that happen to me. I was snappish with everyone today because I was tired. My significant other noticed and it made him/her feel bad thinking he/she had caused it. I felt bad for that, but I was just too tired to deal with people. On top of that, I felt like I was going to throw up this morning. Hopefully I don't. Especially since I have a performance this weekend. Three shows. I can't be sick. I have a cold, but that's all right for now.
                                                              ~The Blogging Fangirl

Homework And Theatre

Back home now. I did two shows yesterday and had to go to church today, so I'm exhausted. And I'm not done yet. I still have a project to do to turn in on Monday, a take-home test to do, and other homework. But for me, the show comes first. Really, school should come first. I know that. But the show was most important in those moments. I had cues I had to make sure I didn't miss, words to make sure I knew. I didn't want to miss anything. So let's hope I can get all of this done before tomorrow.
                                                               ~The Blogging Fangirl

Opening Night

It's opening night for the play I'm in tonight. I'm both thrilled and terrified right now. I'm excited that we're finally getting to show off everything we've done and everyone will get to see our hard work. But I'm worried about everything that could go wrong. I know I shouldn't worry about that, since I can't prevent most of it. But I can't help it. We'll just have to wait and see how everything goes.
                                                                   ~The Blogging Fangirl

Congratulations To Benedict Cumberbatch And Sophie Hunter (Plus A Message To Fans)

I just want to congratulate Benedict Cumberbatch on his engagement. The fact that he flew out to ask her parents' permission, then posted an ad in the paper about it is just adorable! I'm so happy for him and for Sophie Hunter. I hope they're happy together for as long as they live and that they can have the family that Benedict has talked about wanting.

While I'm talking about Sophie Hunter, I need to address the issue of jealous fans and people who go overboard. Yes, I'm jealous of Sophie Hunter. But I'm also happy for them and I'm glad Benedict found someone he wants to spend the rest of his life with. But can we all agree on one thing? Don't send her hate mail or death threats like Amanda Abbington got when she started playing Mary on 'Sherlock'. Neither of them deserve it and we all know it would upset both Sophie and Benedict. Let's just let them live like any other couple would. Let them be married and happy. And, should they have children, don't hate on them either. Let the family live happily. Please.
                                                                      ~The Blogging Fangirl

Late Rehearsal

My late rehearsal is tonight, which is why I'm posting earlier than usual. I also got out of school earlier today, and didn't have Drama Club, which helped. I'm bringing homework with me to rehearsal so that I can work on that when I'm backstage. I have to figure out which dressing room I'm in when I get there tonight. We have to figure out costume changes and everything and timing. Wish us all luck! (Break a leg!)
                                                                   ~The Blogging Fangirl

Rehearsal Things

Rehearsal was actually really good tonight. Most lines were remembered and loud. We sang well, we had emotion. We danced the way we were supposed to and learned to work around everything we had to. Tomorrow, I may or may not decide to wear my makeup. I'll likely do my hair and I'll definitely be in costume. We'll see how it all goes. Also tomorrow, I have rehearsal late, so my post will be earlier. I have it at an odd time for me and I won't be able to post afterwards.
                                                                  ~The Blogging Fangirl

Done With The Director

I'm getting seriously fed up with my director. She's telling all of us that we're not loud enough when most of us are sick, and we're all doing the best that we can to be loud. A lot of people are singing with other people, so they're louder than the people with solos. I'm trying to be louder, but I'm sick and it's harder for me right now to project higher notes, which is what I have to sing on my own. My throat hurts, I'm coughing, I'm on my period, and my toe is hurt. I've just now gotten the giant fork that I have to dance with/around, and she's telling me the first day of tech week, the week the play opens, that something's wrong. If she knew for so long that she didn't think I was loud enough, she could've replaced me then. I'm trying to be louder and she needs to get over it. I'll be fine the night of the play. I really just want her to shut up for a while and think about all of the things that we're doing right.
                                                                   ~The Blogging Fangirl

Injured Toes, Periods, And A Play

So new news: I hurt my toe, my mom hurt her toe, and I'm on my period. Tomorrow starts tech week for the play, which I'm already frustrated with because I have to adapt my choreography around something new now. I'm going to be on my period opening night. This is just /fantastic/. Can't you just feel the sarcasm? I know I'm not the only one on my period right now in the play, and we're probably all going to snap at each other, periods or not. This is going to be a fun week. Welcome to Hell.
                                                                 ~The Blogging Fangirl

100 Blog Posts

I just realized that this will be my 100th blog post. Yay!!!!! Thanks to those of you who have read this since the beginning, and to any new readers I may have. I know this blog probably isn't very interesting or helpful to a lot of people, but I'm glad you choose to read it. It really is like a diary for me that I update (almost) nightly. I love typing up what I'm doing, thinking, and feeling here. And I can look through them posts any time I want and see what I've talked about. So thanks to all of you.
                                                                      ~The Blogging Fangirl