Period: Day 1

                                                             ~The Blogging Fangirl

Good Day

I'm actually feeling fairly good about myself today. That's a nice surprise. I'm still feeling a little tearful though, like something's upset me and I want to cry. I don't know what though. Nothing today has been particularly upsetting to me. I've actually had a fairly good day. No arguments. Just waking up late, showering, eating, reading, watching tv, and cuddling with my cat. I did a bit of work too. I've just kind of been trying to avoid my project for school and procrastinating as much as I can. But I have to actually work on it soon.
                                                                        ~The Blogging Fangirl

Tired

                                                                      ~The Blogging Fangirl

Mixed Feelings Today

Source

Source

                                                                       ~The Blogging Fangirl

Feeling Calmer

                                                                    ~The Blogging Fangirl

Trying to Relax

                                                                     ~The Blogging Fangirl

AP Bio Assignment

I just recently found out that there was an assignment for my AP Bio class that I didn't know about. Everyone else in the class was sent an email giving them the information that was needed to do the assignment, but I didn't get it. I had no idea there was an assignment due until someone mentioned it to me. So I've emailed the teacher to see if she can send me the information so I can do the assignment. I've also asked if there was any way that I could turn the assignment in a bit later, since I didn't get the information needed to do it when everyone else did.
                                                                      ~The Blogging Fangirl

You are Perfect

Source

                                                                      ~The Blogging Fangirl

Shower Poufs

I just learned that these are called shower/bath poufs or puffs. Who knew? :)
                                                                      ~The Blogging Fangirl

Asexual Pride Drawings

Source: Asexual Pride Mermaid

Source: Asexual Pride Animal

                                                                     ~The Blogging Fangirl

Silence is Needed

                                                                       ~The Blogging Fangirl

Hate Donald Trump

I HATE DONALD TRUMP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                    
                                                    ~The Blogging Fangirl

Fun Stuff

Fun Stuff to relieve boredom

                                                                       ~The Blogging Fangirl

Sorry, No Convo

                                                                     ~The Blogging Fangirl

EMDR

I had another therapy appointment today. My next one is next week. My therapist wants to try EMDR. I think I have a loose understanding of it, but I couldn't explain it. We started talking about my history and past and seeing if there was anything that might have triggered my depression. We also brought up my issues with my dad and my fear of him being brought in to talk about it. But the sessions are confidential, so I don't have to share anything with him that I don't want to. I get to decide and that makes me a lot more comfortable.
                                                                     ~The Blogging Fangirl

Staying at Grandma's

I'm staying with my grandma for a few days while my mom and stepdad are on their honeymoon. Honestly, it's mainly because I don't want to go to my dad's and I can't stay home alone. It's my dad's weekend. I do have a therapy appointment tomorrow though, so I'll have to see him for that. I don't know if we'll talk about how I feel about my dad or not. I really just don't want to say anything directly to him, which is how I feel it would go if I said something about not liking him. It feels like he's triggering me. I doubt he means to do it, but I don't want to be around him. The medicine is helping, but I feel like a higher dose might be needed. I don't know. We'll see how things go. 
                                                                 ~The Blogging Fangirl

Happy Wednesday

                                                                       ~The Blogging Fangirl

Tuesday

                                                                       ~The Blogging Fangirl

Missed a Dose

I missed a dose of my antidepressants last night because I stayed at my grandma's house. I didn't have them with me because I came here from babysitting and didn't have a bag to bring with me. I didn't want the kids to find my pills and think it was something they could have. So I didn't get to take my dose for last night. I feel a little hot and my head hurts. But that might just be me. It might have nothing to do with the antidepressants. We'll see.
                                                                        ~The Blogging Fangirl

Moving Day 1

Just started moving into my stepdad's house officially and it's been a bit hectic. My dog is a bit touchy when it comes to being around his dog. Neither of them particularly like each other. But they're getting there. My cat is hiding under our blankets and refuses to come out (much). And his cat is terrified of our animals. I've been a bit homesick, but at least I'm back for tonight. I was babysitting and, due to a series of unexpected events, the parents ended up being later than expected. So rather than getting home around 10:30, it was around 11:45. But oh well. I'm at my Grandma's, so I can post this. I'm missing a dose of my anitdepressants because of this, so I'll have to take it tomorrow morning, depending on when I go back.
                                                                       ~The Blogging Fangirl

Wedding Day!

Today's the day of my mom's wedding! Congratulations to her and I hope they can be happy together for many years to come. We'll be moving throughout the week, so we'll see how it all goes.

                                                                      ~The Blogging Fangirl

Anti-depressants

So, I'm finally on anti-depressants. Hopefully this will help balance my mood and the hormones in my body and I'll be able to live without suicidal thoughts and self-harm.

                                                                        ~The Blogging Fangirl

SHUT UP!

I am so tired of listening to people complain. Just shut up! Look, I love helping people. I'll listen when I can. But every once in a while, I need you to just shut up and let me enjoy some quiet.

                                                                     ~The Blogging Fangirl

Bernie Sanders for President

Please, if you can vote, vote for Bernie Sanders. He actually has a good, sturdy platform. He hasn't been slinging mud at his opponents. Instead, he actually focuses on the issues at hand and shows consistency in his stance on the matter(s). He's for same sex marriage, for one thing. And he has a lot of good ideas. Here's his campaign website.

Bernie Sanders Campaign Website

                                                                  ~The Blogging Fangirl 

I Do Plenty!

People don't seem to realize that mental health is just as important as physical and emotional. You need to take care of your mind just like you would your body. Do things that make you happy and promote a happy state of mind. It really does help. And when people say they didn't do much, don't you dare make fun of them for it. Maybe they did plenty that they're proud of, but don't want to tell you about. I know that's how I am. I usually have plenty of projects that I work on during the day. But I don't tell my family about them simply because it's personal. I'm proud of my work. But I don't want to show it off because I worry about their reactions and it's just personal. So don't say anything like "Oh, you never do much" or "What do you ever do?" All that does is piss me off and make me upset. I do plenty so get off my back! 
                                                                        ~The Blogging Fangirl

Mom's Second Marriage

My mom's second marriage is this weekend. Wishing her and my (soon to be) stepdad all the best. 

                                                                 ~The Blogging Fangirl

Depression and Silence

                                                                      ~The Blogging Fangirl

Happy 4th of July

                                                                     ~The Blogging Fangirl

Peaches

I lost my cat, Peaches, today. We brought her in as a stray nearly 6 years ago. She's been fantastic. True, she caused a fair bit of trouble around our house and nearly always found a way to slip out the front door when someone went in or out. But we loved her so much and life won't be the same without her. We miss her more than words could say. She's been buried now and we hope she's in a better place. She'd stopped eating for a while and was skinnier. I gave her a bath last night and she was bleeding a lot, though I still have no idea where it came from. She didn't put up a fight like she normally did, and she was being incredibly love-y, wanting more attention than usual. I wish I could just hold her close now. My mom, younger sister, and I cried together over her body, cat wrapped in a red towel. We buried her and now we just hope that we can continue to move on. I miss her more than I ever thought possible. I just want to curl up and sleep for the rest of my life.
                                                                        ~The Blogging Fangirl

Depression Apples

                                                                      ~The Blogging Fangirl

So Done with my Father

                                                                      ~The Blogging Fangirl