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Saturday, January 31, 2015

Test

I wanted to test this to see if I could schedule this update to post while I'm gone. If you're reading this, hopefully it's January 31, 2015. Otherwise, I failed. But I want to see if this will update. I'm probably at my dad's, if this worked. Still hoping for snow. Wish me luck!
                                                                ~The Blogging Fangirl

Friday, January 30, 2015

Hopeful For Snow

I won't be able to update tomorrow because I'll be at my dad's apartment. But I should be able to update again beginning on Sunday. I'll be back home that night. If we have a snow day on Monday, I'll be posting earlier that day, I'm sure. For now though, it's uncertain if we'll be getting any snow at all here. I hope we do. I could use that day off. We're using the online school option though, so I'd have classwork to do, but I would have my own time to do it during. And I could have the t.v. on or be doing anything I wanted on my computer. As long as I got the work in on time, it wouldn't matter. I really want to try that. Well, that's about all for today. Update again soon!
                                                                    ~The Blogging Fangirl

Thursday, January 29, 2015

Tired of Life

I'm really tired of everything. I'm done. I just want to quit everything. I want to stay home and just wither away. I have no interest in anything and I don't want to do anything. I have no plans for the future, I don't want to think about any of it. I've been bummed out and just depressed and I don't want to have anything to do with life. I've talked on blahtherapy and it helps some, but I really just need to keep writing in my journal. I don't want to talk to anyone. I just want to be left alone.
                                                                   ~The Blogging Fangirl

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Good Day

I've actually had it easy all day. I haven't had to do anything. Most of my class was away on retreat and others were gone because they're on our basketball team and they're in the tournament today. In my first few classes, I did very little, mostly had free time. In chorus, I had time to work on anything I needed. In English class, I took a nap. Spanish, I worked on a project and got on Tumblr. Theology, I was the only one there, so I got a king size Hershey bar, popcorn, and watched a movie. In Algebra, I was given homework that's not due until Friday, then had the period to do anything. I wish every day could be like today.
                                                                                                          ~The Blogging Fangirl

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Pet Peeve And Benedict's Apology

One of my pet peeve's is when people talk while someone else is talking. I've been spoken over before and it gives me too many different things to try to listen to if two people are talking at once. It makes me want to scream. I don't want to hear more than one person talking at a time. It hurts my ears.

Another thing I want to talk about: Benedict Cumberbatch's apology. I know a lot of people will think he's only doing it to keep his fans and make himself look good, but he's not. He's really a great guy and Sophie is a very lucky woman. His apology was definitely genuine. And what he said isn't really racist, as far as I;m aware. Plenty of people say 'colored people' or 'people of color'. If he'd said 'black people', someone would've been offended. If he'd said 'people who aren't white', someone would've been offended. He could've said any number of things, and someone still would've been offended. I personally tend to say 'African Americans'. But I'm sure that offends people too. Sometimes, I just say 'black people', which is definitely offensive to some people. But I can't help offending people. Someone will always be offended, no matter what you say or how you say it.
                                                                  ~The Blogging Fangirl

Monday, January 26, 2015

Great Song

Sorry I didn't update last night, but I was busy trying to turn a song into an original poem. The song I chose is called 'Bread and Roses' It has a lot of great history behind it that you probably won't be taught about. As a feminist, I think it's very important. It pushes equality and shows just how much we can do if we work together. Here it is: 

As we go marching, marching, in the beauty of the day
A million darkened kitchens, a thousand mill lofts gray
Are touched with all the radiance that a sudden sun discloses
For the people hear us singing, bread and roses, bread and roses.

As we go marching, marching, we battle too, for men,
For they are women's children, and we mother them again.
Our days shall not be sweated from birth until life closes,
Hearts starve as well as bodies, give us bread, but give us roses.

As we go marching, marching, unnumbered women dead
Go crying through our singing their ancient call for bread,
Small art and love and beauty their trudging spirits knew
Yes, it is bread we fight for, but we fight for roses, too.

As we go marching, marching, we bring the greater days.
The rising of the women means the rising of the race.
No more the drudge and idler, ten that toil where one reposes,
But a sharing of life's glories, bread and roses, bread and roses.

                                                                ~The Blogging Fangirl

Saturday, January 24, 2015

Good Day

I had a great day with my friend's today. It was my girlfriend and one of my girl friends. As in female friends. It was great. I got to watch Pride (2014) again and play with my hedgehog and it was just a great day, all in all. I got popcorn and soda as well, which also made me happy. I love the movie, I love my friends, I love popcorn and soda, and I love my hedgehog. So it was a win-win for all of us. My girlfriend loved the movie, but my other friend had to go home before we could watch it. I emailed them both the link so they can watch it whenever they have time. Hopefully my other friend gets to watch the movie soon. And if you haven't, then stop wasting time on my blog and go watch it. You'll love it. I think so, anyway.
                                                                   ~The Blogging Fangirl

Friday, January 23, 2015

Snow And Friends

It's snowing here and I'm waiting to hear back from one of my friends to see if they can come over this to my house tomorrow. I wanted to show them Pride (2014). It's a fantastic movie, which I told you all about before. I love it and I want to show it to them, so I invited them over. It's also and excuse for them to meet my hedgehog, John. I really want them to be able to come over and I hope they can. They couldn't last weekend. I just want to have them over soon.
                                                                       ~The Blogging Fangirl

Thursday, January 22, 2015

Gum Pain

My gums still hurt from where the novocaine was injected. It's not a major pain and I don't think I really need to take any Ibuprofen or anything for it. I just hate that it still hurts. It got me thinking though about how you get a bandaid put on any other time something's injected into you, but not when it's in your mouth. I get that it would be hard to do that, but what's protecting my bloodstream from the bacteria in my mouth? Although I suppose that, since I swallow it so often and it probably goes through my bloodstream at some point, it likely isn't very dangerous. I just don't want to end up with inflamed gums or infected gums. It would be really painful and gross and awkward.
                                                                      ~The Blogging Fangirl

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Today.......UGH!

My sister, stepsister, and dad had an appointment with the eye doctor today, so I had to go to my dad's apartment after school. I hate being there. I don't want to be there. To top it off, my mom was picking my sister up at 6 pm from work before she picked me and my younger brother up from the apartment, so I'd have to be there even longer. I called my grandmother and she took me home. She brought my brother too. I hate being at the apartment and I just hope my dad doesn't take this opportunity to make me go there more often. I never want to see it again, let alone be in it. But I know I have to be there again soon and I need to get used to it. I can't get past my hatred though.
                                                                 ~The Blogging Fangirl

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Pride (2014) With Andrew Scott As Gethin

Sorry I didn't post last night. I got caught up in watching Pride (2014). It is the best movie I have ever watched. It left me speechless. I was incredibly moved and inspired by it. I have never seen a movie so perfect and wonderful and I doubt I ever will again. I want to share it with anyone that I can. Here's the link I used to watch it online: 


It's about two hours long and I definitely suggest that you watch it as soon as you can. I'll give you a warning for some nudity and profanity, but it's completely worth it. I love it so much and I want everyone who can to watch it. Please give it a shot.
                                                                  ~The Blogging Fangirl

Saturday, January 17, 2015

Unknown Caller

Okay so there's this person texting me who apparently thinks it's okay to keep texting me. I've explained to them that I'm not Norma, who they claimed they thought they were talking to. Last night, they called me Mary. They continued talking to me and said that since I texted them first tonight, they wouldn't just delete the number. I explained that I only texted to make sure that they knew I wasn't Norma and that they wouldn't text me anymore. I got the response 'Okay', then asked if they would just delete the number. Whoever it was said 'I'm on it right now', I thanked them and wished them luck with Norma and got 'yep'. Hopefully this is the end of it. The person lives in Indiana and I don't, which I explained. I have no idea who it was. I never gave out my name, despite being asked three times. I thought they'd never leave me alone, despite my explanations that I had no idea who they were and didn't want to talk anymore. They've stopped though. Thankfully.
                                                                      ~The Blogging Fangirl

Late Update

Sorry there wasn't an update last night. I completely forgot about it. I'm staying home this weekend, over my long weekend, which makes me incredibly happy. I don't want to spend my entire long weekend at my dad's. I don't like him and it's not for any reason he'd come up with. It's based on my experiences with him as a child and there's nothing he can do to fix it. He thinks I don't want to be there because of something someone told me that would make me not like him, or mad at him, or something. But that's not it at all. I don't like him because of things he did when I was a child. I've never really liked him. I've always preferred my mom.
                                                                    ~The Blogging Fangirl

Thursday, January 15, 2015

Another Guilt Trip Attempt

I talked to my dad about staying home with my mom this weekend instead of going with him. He said okay, but the entire car ride home was awkward. He asked if anyone had talked to me about him not paying child support or school tuition. No one's mentioned to me whether he does or doesn't, and I told him. He told me I could come to him if I had any questions about anything and if anyone said something to make me mad at him, I should come talk to him. It has nothing to do with that! I just don't want to be around him. I don't like him. I can't tell him that though, because then it would make things worse. I just want to stay home and maybe have a friend over to see my hedgehog, John. I don't want to be with him and he just doesn't get it. He tries to guilt trip me every time I skip a weekend with him and it's getting old. 
                                                             ~The Blogging Fangirl

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Auditions

Auditions went well today. I didn't get a callback, but it's going to be a small cast and the director is doing most of the casting based off of what we did today. The cast list should be up by Friday, but it depends on if/when the principal approves it. If it's approved tomorrow, it'll be up by Friday and I'll have a rehearsal this Monday for about an hour and a half. When I know my role, I'll be sure to let all of you know!
                                                                        ~The Blogging Fangirl

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Auditions Tomorrow

I'm so nervous right now. I have auditions tomorrow and I always get incredibly nervous. Plus, I'm sleep deprived, so I'll have to rework my internal clock. Rehearsals will completely mess up my regular schedule and I'm going to drive myself insane! Thankfully, this is the smaller show, so we likely won't need to stay as late to work on it, even during tech week. I'll let you know tomorrow if I get a callback. 
                                                                    ~The Blogging Fangirl         

Monday, January 12, 2015

The Nameless Hedgie

For those of you who read my last post about getting a new pet hedgehog, she finally has a name! I've decided to name her..........

Joan

Jonie, for a nickname. She's so sweet and I love her to pieces already. She's starting to get used to being handled and she loves to run around the second she's out of her cage. I've named her after Dr. John H. Watson. She's adventurous like him and quite the little trooper. Even tumbling around and falling won't stop her.
                                                              ~The Blogging Fangirl

Sunday, January 11, 2015

New Hedgehog

Finally got my hedgehog! I wanted a boy and I was going to name him John, after John H. Watson. But my mom found a girl I could have sooner than a boy, so I have a girl. I think I'm going to call her Gianna, one female variation of John. She's cute, as far as I can tell, but she's been under a towel sleeping since she got here last night. I can't wait to cuddle her and have fun with my new pet. She's wonderful, about 6 months old, and a hedgehog version of me. I'll let you all know how she does as time goes on. 
                                                                      ~The Blogging Fangirl

Saturday, January 10, 2015

Not Yet, But Soon

Remember that post about coming out to my dad and how I'd do it before the new year? Well, I didn't. I'm sorry to say that I still haven't told him. But I am going to. When I do, I'll post about it on here. You'll know his reaction. I really want to tell him now and get it over with, but I'm going to see him tomorrow. I'm already probably going to get pulled aside for not telling him about the father/daughter event. I don't want to be pulled aside for that too. I'm going to tell him soon.
                                                                     ~The Blogging Fangirl

Friday, January 9, 2015

Hatred

My dad is frustrating me a lot lately, which is the last thing I need with auditions coming up. He's whining because I didn't invite him to my school's Father/Daughter event. I didn't invite him or bring it up because I don't want to go! Why should I bring it up if I don't want to go? He said I should've mentioned it to him out of respect for him. To me that's like going to someone and telling them you're having a party, but they're not invited. It's pointless and it can be pretty cruel sometimes. My stepmother lectured me on it too, saying she and my dad 'kill [them]selves' to put me in my school, so I had better call my dad and invite him to the event. Right now, I hate them both. It's made my depression even worse.
                                                              ~The Blogging Fangirl

Thursday, January 8, 2015

Evil Stepmother

I'm done. My stepmother crossed a line with me and I want to make her disappear right now. She's angry because I didn't invite my dad to my school's father/daughter event. Know why I didn't? Because it doesn't sound fun! It's got nothing to do with not wanting to spend time with my father. If he wants to spend time with me, then we can do something together. But I don't want to go to the school event, pay for it, and not have any fun. That just sounds like a miserable Sunday to me. I don't want to do that to either of us. My stepmother doesn't seem to understand that. My mom understands. I'm just done. I don't want to see my dad or stepmother ever again.
                                                                     ~The Blogging Fangirl

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

School And Drama Club

I'm hoping that they'll cancel school tomorrow, since it's going to be so cold. They don't want us to be outside for prolonged periods of time when it's that cold because of the possibility of getting frostbite during that time. 
Another thing. I won't be a part of Drama Club anymore. I've missed two meetings, so I can't be a part of it anymore. Besides, I'm too tired and stressed to handle that right now. I'll definitely miss it and I hate having to quit, but I have to. I have more free time now though. 
                                                                   ~The Blogging Fangirl

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Chrome History

I'm not sure if I remembered to delete the history on Google Chrome on my mom's laptop or not. If I didn't, it will show that I was on the history and she'll know I was deleting things and want to know why. I don't want her to see that and it worries me. But I'm sure it'll be fine. I'll take care of it when I get home. I just hope she doesn't realize what's there before I get home and can fix it. Whatever happens, I'll handle it.
                                                                     ~The Blogging Fangirl

Monday, January 5, 2015

New Year's Resolution

My New Year's resolution? Allow myself to make mistakes. Why? Because we learn from mistakes. Some of the greatest things made were mistakes. You don't always mean to discover something. But by making mistakes, you may find something greater than you'd ever hoped for. You won't know unless you allow yourself to take chances and make those mistakes. Yes, some mistakes may end horribly for you. But the goal here is to try your best and to learn from the mistakes you make. I'm not telling you to intentionally make mistakes. Try your best. But don't get so down on yourself when you do make mistakes. Allow it to happen sometimes and learn from them. 
                                                                    ~The Blogging Fangirl

Sunday, January 4, 2015

School Tomorrow

Well, I have to go back to school tomorrow. My internal clock is going to be thrown off more than I could ever imagine and I don't even want to think about it. I'm exhausted already. Let's see what happens when you add on projects, homework, and getting service hours. This is all going to kill me. It's going to crush me entirely. But I'll make sure I have time to update here and everywhere I need to. Thanks for any support you all give me.
                                                                       ~The Blogging Fangirl

Friday, January 2, 2015

Not Much, Just Some Gifs And a Picture

There's not much for me to say this time, other than the fact that I have to end my break soon and go back to school. So I think I'll just post some pictures for you all. I hope you enjoy them.





                                                                                                       ~The Blogging Fangirl

Thursday, January 1, 2015

My Idea

I've been asked many times in my years what I want to be when I grow up. What do I want to do? What is my purpose? I think a lot of us wonder this. And many of us could answer it with 'I want to make a difference.' But how? What kind of difference do you want to make? How do you want to leave your mark on the world? I think I've found the answer to that for myself. I'd like to create a network online for people battling depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, self-harm, and many other issues they want and/or need to talk about. Many people would tell me that this isn't my problem, that I can't focus on trying to fix them, that they need professional help. But here's the thing about that. I want to help them. I'm not trying to fix them. And not everyone is helped by professionals. Yes, sometimes it helps to talk face-to-face with someone who's handled other people with the same thing you deal with. But sometimes it just worsens it. I've talked to therapists before. It didn't help me at all. In fact, it can make things worse. Especially with people who get anxious around others. Sometimes, it's more helpful to talk to someone through text rather than face-to-face. Sometimes it helps to talk to someone you don't know instead of a friend. I want to set up a network for this purpose so that people can find others who share their thoughts and can help each other. No one needs to know one another and everyone can help each other.
                                                                     ~The Blogging Fangirl